The Essentia Sphere

From Dale Spender’s Man Made Language:

It is relatively easy to substantiate the thesis that when women do not speak in terms that are acceptable to men, they do not get a proper hearing; in fact, it would sometimes be easy to substantiate that they get no hearing at all. Women are ‘queried’, they are interrupted, their opinions are discounted and their contributions devalued in virtually all of the mixed-sex conversations that I have taped. And there is little doubt in my mind that females have traditionally reacted to this treatment by retreating into silence.

Real life is keeping me busy but I just wanted to post that little tidbit from one of the books I’m reading right now. See, female feminists! You aren’t taking crazy pills–other people notice it and have studied it!

I hope at least one of you who is dealing with this kind of nonsense right now reads this and recognizes that they are trying to shut you up. Don’t let them.

So, I’ve expanded my geekiness to include Doctor Who. I mean, I’ve seen the show before but it’s only been in the past couple of weeks or so that I’ve really become obsessed with it. I’m reading anything I can about it—well, not fanfic. I’m not a fan of fanfic.

But . . . I can’t even read scifi geek crap without the stupid leaking in! I can’t get away from it—someone makes a stupid comment about men or women and all stupid hell breaks loose.

Well, to keep my brain from bleeding out of my ears, here are some quotes I’ve found around the web. None of them are mine. Some are from message boards that I’ve been reading. Some are from here. And some are from places that I can’t remember now.

Incidentally, a claim that you’re in agreement with the argument doesn’t negate the fact that you’re undermining it.

Anyway, isn’t white men thinking that their opinion is as or more relevant to issues of oppression than the oppressed in question part of the problem?

Right until I remember that abortion is a choice about pregnancy, not parenting, and women, through no other mechanism than biology, just have a longer window of opportunity.

Men and women and have different contributions to pregnancy (something like 99% and 1%), therefore they should have different options that reflect that obvious inbalance. Biology is haaaaard.

I am constantly being accused of failure to demonstrate a proper amount of benevolence in my demeanor, for the tastes of the dominant class.

You see, if what is emphasized is the importance of an outward appearance of politeness and manners, all discussion of any real physical/economic/psychological harm done can be (thankfully!) diverted to the subject of whether or not the complaint about the harm was made decorously enough for the tastes of the ruling class

Males who aren’t actively pro-feminist may as well be anti-feminist in my book, for all the unearned privilege they reap at female’s expense.

The thing we have to understand is that men do not want to change.  They really don’t.  I’ve seen the glimmer of understanding in men’s eyes, only to have it shadowed with the flippant smirk of entitled willful blindness

This is a cheap transparent trick to change the subject from the behavior of men, to the feelings of women.

The enemy is the patriarchy, which is an ideology–a system of thought–that harms everyone it touches, including those it purports to benefit.  This position is not to be confused with a what-about-teh-menz style apologia; men must be held accountable for their injustices, and the unjust nature of their privilege.

I will not point things out.  I will not bicker.  I will not quibble.  Please do not try to bait me.

All of us have triggers that send us into defensive mode, but they are different for everyone, and the response to those triggers also varies in intensity.

I’ve met precious few men I could genuinely call feminists, even by my definition, mainly because most of them don’t think, or don’t think deeply enough.

Self-identifying with an oppressed class by one who belongs to the oppressor class is a sure sign of (at best) a merely superficial understanding of the issues, and it minimizes the experience of those who must continually suffer under that oppression.  It also smacks of self-righteousness.

The men that I have met who claim to be feminist have hid behind the title, as “but I’m a feminist so obviously I’m not sexist” or have jumped to telling me what I should or should not be offended by.

It is a political issue because in practice, men calling themselves feminists often act in a very anti-feminist, anti-woman way.

What you are all experiencing is an aspect of the phenomenon that no woman in public can expect personal bodily sovereignty.

The whole world is a men’s centre.

It just so happens women tend to need more attention because we, through whatever fault is fashionable to dodge this week, tend to get the short end of the stick in almost every possible situation, abusive and otherwise, unless the law mandates it to be otherwise.

Something of a tangent, but it’s far more likely that midwifery is the oldest profession not prostitution. This commonly repeated gem of wisdom about prostitution translates to me as “the oldest profession that worked for the benefit of Patriarchy, and helped dominated the oppressed classes” rather than “women working to help other women, which really isn’t that important in the grand patriarchal scheme of things”.

when dealing with people who debate the very existence of a patriarchy or just plain don’t like women. If you’re dealing with a bunch of people who are innately hostile to you, and demand first that you wear some sort of intellectual hairshirt at all times, my own inclination is to say: “You know what? I’m not sure we can even get on the same page to start from, so how can we even have a discussion? I’m sorry you feel the way you do; I’m going to be over here drinking a beer.”

Unless poor men are disadvantaged in ways that poor women aren’t, it’s not a gender issue. Intersectionality is important, of course, but class is not in and of itself a men’s issue.

I’m saying women’s rights falls under the umbrella of human rights as a subgroup. Its existence doesn’t negate the other subgroups – men’s rights, minority rights, disabled rights, juvenile rights – nor harm the overarching umbrella itself. It just offers specialization to a very, very broad issue.

Female liberation can’t harm men, for example – in fact, it can help them by proxy – but when men need liberation specifically for themselves, feminism isn’t a place they can turn to and expect the same attention as women.

I find that more troubling, often times, than mildly-misogynistic films like Superbad – sure, the teen horndog stereotype is tired, but at least there are women characters. What about all the war movies, all the action flicks, all the Westerns, in which women hardly exist as people?

Like gaming ,comic book culture seems to bait girls with one hand then shoo them away with the other, sure you can enjoy a female superhero that fights crime but you have to stare at close ups of her breasts and ass. Sure you can enjoy playing games but there will almost always be a pornified character in there to remind you gals where your importance lies,

This is an attitude that’s been present in our society for ages. It’s present whenever a rape victim is criticized for being where she shouldn’t, or wearing revealing clothes, or whatever actions might have so defused the primitive, but also transcendent!, MALE BRAIN into Raep-Mode. It’s not men’s fault when they hurt women. It’s women’s fault! They asked for it, and men are only too willing to oblige.

This is a good time to learn to take responsibility for your own education; notice that the goal is to educate yourself. POC are not educational tools. They have a ton of shit to deal with in regards to racism already; they are not necessarily going to be thrilled to spell out the basics to you.

Fake feminist males. I would rather share a room with the rootin-tootin rantinest open misogynist than spend a second of my time with those freaks. At least obvious misogynist is obvious

I think it’s an embarrassment to women; the whole movement nowadays seems to be all about what men think!

Hate without power is just hate. Hate with power is oppression. It’s a bit of a sidetrack from what people are really talking about in there, but it’s just such a stupid, meaningless comment that sounds like it’s opposed to any discriminatory ism you can name, but really, it’s the voice of privilege saying “hey, it’s just as bad if you hate me!” And it’s just not, if my hatred has no effect on your life, and yours can dictate the limitations of mine.

I also hate it when people say “I’m entitled to my opinion.” Yes, yes you are totally allowed to have that opinion, you are entitled to it, THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S NOT TOTAL BULLSHIT THOUGH. “My opinion” is not a blanket, get out of jail free card, for being a total twat. Your opinion is still stupid.

because I’m a little tired right now of dealing with male entitlement on feminist blogs