The Essentia Sphere

Some trolls have been leaving comments here on my posts about feminism. Some of them relate to feminism in comics but at least half are anti-feminist trolls. When I delete them, they send me more comments. Or the non-trolls post about it on their blogs.

The outright misogynists are obvious trolls. They are easy to ignore. The trolls that aren’t so easy to ignore are the guys who sound like they want an honest discussion with you but really, they’re just there to take over the discussion and turn it away from the issues. Known as “secret misogynists” (I totally just made up that label. These are the guys who believe that they’re not misogynists. But, possibly without even being aware of it, their “discussions” online show that the patriarchy has indeed had its way with them), they’ll protest that they truly do want to discuss it (of course, most of the time, they want to discuss what they believe you’re saying rather than what you’re actually saying—an example of little woman, I know what you’re saying better than you do) and if you don’t explain yourself to them, then you must not be open to other ideas.

I’m open to other ideas. I’m not open to a smug man taking over the debate and telling us all how to think. I’m not open to a guy coming in and stamping his foot as he demands A, B, and C from me or anyone else. It’s an example of male entitlement: you have to respond to me. I’m a guy. You’re a woman. Respond to me. Also in use is the age old I’m a man and I’m logical and you’re a woman and you’re not logical. Now, calm down and try to make sense. It comes across in so many of their posts/comments and I bet, because of that male privilege, they have no fucking idea it’s there.

I also wonder if the ingrained patriarchal beliefs that we all hold are what cause this sort of aggressive action on the part of male bloggers/commentators and the female reactions to it. I see a small number of male comic book bloggers changing the tone of a discussion that many women are taking part in. Is it because we all think, on some level, that what they say is more important? That it holds more weight? Why are discussions that begin about feminism turned around to how men feel about it? Because what they feel is more important? Because all of us have been conditioned to believe that the male is more important? And why, in every discussion about feminism that I’ve been involved in, does it basically come down to male attacks and female defensive statements? These interactions have taught me this: it is useless to discuss anything about this subject with someone who refuses to see a need for feminism, someone who denies your feminist complaints, or with someone who is coming to the subject with his/her mind full of feminist stereotypes. Not engaging these type of people does not make you a coward. It makes you selective in your battles. 

You can come here and try to leave a comment or post on your blog all you want about it. But I’m not going to beat my head against a brick wall and talk with someone who comes off as condescending in pretty much every online interaction I’ve observed him in. I’m not going to interact with anyone who appears to be willfully ignorant or dismissive of pretty much all feminist concerns. I’m not going to go into the complexities of the patriarchal system with someone who comes off as not really wanting to hear anything that takes away from his comic books. Since so many of the trolls who have been leaving me comments don’t seem to understand what my original post meant, maybe they should read up on female strength as defined by women and not male comic book creators, female sexuality, and the co-opting of female sexuality by the patriarchy.

I don’t jump through hoops for anyone. I stated my piece and I don’t owe you or anyone else any further explanation about anything.

Right now, I believe the word you’re looking for is “bitch.”