The Essentia Sphere

I just wanted to share with you some of the posts I’ve been reading this week. These two relate to what I posted about last week.

. . . because we say so, not because we hope to be granted such freedoms by men. For the precise reason that I reject men’s authority, I will continue to reject the kind of mentality that would lead any woman to consult them, ask and beg of them.

It’s a great post. I always wonder why men (and some women) can’t understand that most feminists want what men are born with—respect. I think some people can’t see women in any other way but the stereotypical female role. So they think, “Women are meant to be sexy! That’s when they have power—when they’re turning a guy on!” or “Hey, guys like the way this woman is portrayed—so what’s the problem?” It’s all based on old stereotypes but they refuse to recognize it. Some of them just can not get the fact that all most feminists want is what men have—and by getting it, we will be more equal. But many times, male privilege won’t let them see that. 

This one is related to the above two because it brings up the whole “feminism needs to include men and be men approved” thing. This one talks about the either/or situation most women find themselves in when they discuss feminism. It relates to the ideas of the good girl/bad girl, the Madonna/whore, and the aggressive/passive woman.

If a man doesn’t want to be treated the way he treats women that should tell him something that he probably doesn’t want to hear.

This is just a short post that I thought was interesting. Anything that helps us look at things differently is a good thing, IMO.

And this post I’m showing you because the video in it kinda grossed me out.

I’m including this because Ami sent it to me and it’s pretty awesome.

Over the past 6 months or so, I’ve had some run-ins with some anti-feminist men who, apparently, have too much time on their hands. From my observations of this group, I give you the Misogynist’s Rulebook.

1. Never listen to a woman.

2. While you aren’t listening to her, make sure you tell her what she’s really saying.

3. Take over the conversation. Attack as much as possible. This not only shows the women that you’re a man but puts them on the defensive.

4. Claim you are a feminist. Claim it and cling to it! Some men refuse to do this but it has been found to be the ultimate weapon in shouting women down. Whenever you are called out on your anti-women statements, post “I’m a feminist!” and let that be your shield.

5. Call feminists names. Threaten them in a way that only a man can threaten a woman. Use the patriarchal structure and sexually violent threats to remind the women of their place.

6. When a woman won’t respond, make sure to call her a coward. Proceed to point out to everyone that she doesn’t want an honest debate. Fail to notice your male entitlement at play here.

7. Never, ever do research. Never read links that are given to you. Never examine your own feelings or actions, especially as to how they may relate to the patriarchal structure. Never admit that there is a social hierarchy that pushes women to the bottom. Refuse all feminist explanations of the patriarchy. But always act like you know what you’re talking about.

8. Tell them that you know how they should act as feminists. As a man, you are the gatekeeper to the true meaning of feminism.

9. Lay blame for all of society’s ills at the feet of feminists. Whether your area of outrage is father’s rights, comic books, the draft, or abortion, make sure you blame it all on feminists.

10. Create a straw man argument (this is related to #2). This is best accomplished by attacking the women on a personal level. This way, you never have to actually deal with the issue under discussion.

11. Demand the feminsts’ attention. Take over their comment section/message board and direct the flow of discussion with multiple posts. If they refuse to respond to you, take it to your blog/website.

12. Use gender indoctrination to your advantage. Women are taught to speak softly. This means that any time a woman speaks firmly or in a demanding tone, it can be dismissed as “anger” or “she’s not being rational.” These are all ways to dismiss feminists’ arguments (. . . women expressing anger (especially feminist anger) on the internet, in any form, are trivialized and/or strongly denounced (and that’s a polite term) by the majority of people – especially (alas!) men, who are the most threatened by it. Not only is women’s anger routinely dismissed but, to add insult to injury, the speaker herself is often attacked and characterized as needing to calm down.), as well as reinforce the idea that women shouldn’t speak out strongly for anything.

13. Make it all about you. As a man, feminism is about you. Pull out a long story about your parents and how good their lives were with mom at home. Trot out the story of your ex-wife taking all your money. Talk about a girl you know who gets away with stuff that a guy can’t get away with. These anecdotes that prove nothing can directly relate to #6, #8, #11, and       # 15.

14. Demand proof of every claim made by the feminists. Never give proof of what you say. If the feminists give proof, don’t read it! Ignore it and dismiss it. Proceed on the assumption that women aren’t logical and you, as a man, are logical. If you are an anti-feminist woman arguing with feminists, then leave little hints about how all the other women just aren’t as smart as you. Then talk down to the feminists. They love that. Related to #7.

15. Marginalize the feminists. Call them “radical” and tell everyone that you’re moderate. It also helps if you don’t know what a radical feminist is and you just lump all feminists together. This leads to a quicker dismissal of the feminists’ arguments.

16.  And lastly, have your brothers stroke your male ego if the feminists refuse to respond. Really, the bitches should know their place and fucking pay attention to you, right?

Feminists should also note that these tactics are not only used by men. Female anti-feminists also own this handbook. But they have a special, extra rule.

17. Use your gender to deflect all complaints about your anti-women statements. Use “Well, that’s never happened to me!” and “I’ve never seen that!” as ways to dismiss feminist concerns. Also yell out “Napoleon had a mom!” for no discernible reason.

Now, this “rulebook” is sarcastic and meant to be taken as a joke. But I don’t think the lesson behind it should be.

Feminists should look at these rules and remember, “Why would I bother debating something with someone who comes into the discussion thinking I have less value as a person than he does? How can I have a meaningful discussion with someone who only speaks in stereotypes (thanks to esoterica for the link) when dealing with feminism? He’ll just do #1 over and over again.” Too much time is lost debating whether feminism is needed or not when the focus needs to be on what we can do to make society a more equal place for both genders.

Anti-feminist and anti-women individuals should be dismissed for what they are: people clinging to archaic ideas of gender roles that keep half the world’s population in a subservient role. Ideas that want to keep the scale unbalanced should be dismissed. Feminism wishes to balance the scale (note: this is where the only thinking in stereotypes comes in. Most anti-feminists don’t get this point). But know this: as long a most of the power in society is still in men’s hands, anti-feminist and anti-women views will never be marginalized or dismissed. It will still be all around you. All that you can do is speak out against it. But the less attention that is paid to their ideas, the less power they will have ( . . . I don’t think feminists should allow themselves to be put in the “persuading position”). There is no reason why a woman should have to persuade someone that she should be treated equally to a man.

Feminists can learn from people who have legitimate problems with the movement and who treat feminists as their equals. Feminists should hear debate about feminist issues, particularly different aspects of the movement relating to women who feel feminism has left them out.

But feminists should be aware of outright misogynists and their younger siblings: the hidden misogynist (HM). The HM is harder to ignore because, at first, he seems reasonable. But give him some time and you will begin to notice the handbook being used. S/He is especially fond of #4. Both the outright misogynist and the HM bog down the feminist discussion and cause the argument to not only veer off course, but to take a back seat to drama that may unfold.

Not to mention, nothing upsets an anti-feminist man quite so much as when a woman won’t give his arguments enough weight to debate him.

A little something for you to wake up to.

I don’t feel up to a rant about this one. I’m mainly just showing it to you because I’ve never seen anything like it before. I wonder if the people who buy this kind of thing use it at work?