2007 August 02 « The Essentia Sphere

Round Up

August 2, 2007 at 12:44 pm (Random)

What century are we living in? Do countries do this type of thing anymore?

British doc hates fatties.

I like geeky stuff but I hate people—that’s why I’ll never go to one of these. Also, if I see Kevin Smith I might vomit at the sight of him so it’s probably best if I stay away.

$20 a month, huh? I can’t imagine why that would upset anyone.

This is the guy who admitted that he never really wanted to be president before. Now, apparently, he has a weekend free so he’s decided to see what happens with that whole president thing. I hope he fails and I hope he cries for a week afterwards. Dumbass.

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I was born to a woman who spent an alcohol fueled night with a Sasquatch. He disappeared into the forest and left me in the care of my mother, who lovingly shaved my abundant body hair on a daily basis. My mother passed away from a flying rubber boot slamming into her face. Some say it was thrown by one of our drunken neighbors. I like to think Jesus was kicking Momma in the face. On my own at the innocent, young age of 30, I traveled the country. I, wearing only my beanie cap and trusty pair of leg warmers, hitchhiked across the USA before I was kidnapped and sold to a nefarious band of button collectors, who used my tiny fingers to search for . . . well, buttons. I could take no more. Upon finding a particularly exquisite button with a picture of two goats fornicating on it, I ran away. With my button. I stowed away on a steamer-ship headed for China, where I learned the true art of button collecting. I also got syphilis. After an aggressive dosage of penicillin and more disease riddled sex, I was cured. Returning home, I settled in a tiny little town known as “That Shithole.” Here, I work on my painted potatoes and continue to pursue my lifelong dream of owning my own front door. Or not.
Dad?
Duh

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure.--Clarence Darrow I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect.--Edward Gibbon Don't become so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.--Bill Maher I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat or a prostitute.--Rebecca West Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill.--Betty Friedan Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she manages to be a good wife, a good mother, good-looking, good-tempered, well-dressed, well-groomed, and unaggressive.--Marya Mannes It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.-Sally Kempton Men define intelligence, men define usefulness, men tell us what is beautiful, men even tell us what is womanly.--Sally Kempton Give to every human being every right that you claim for yourself.--Robert Ingersoll In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on a woman.--Nancy Astor I am not a pretty girl, that’s not what I do.--Ani DiFranco

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The Essentia Sphere

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