Not Shocked At All
Here’s a list about nothing. It might make you chuckle—even though it’s a little heavy on the fat jokes. That’s an easy laugh and a sign of a lazy writer.
Thanks to gallimaufry for the find.
Best one:
[48] ALAN COLMES
Liberal apologistAs Fox News’s in-house lefty, Colmes has all the intellectual authority of a Nazi collaborator. But he made the list because he looks like Rocky Dennis, Cher’s son in Mask.
Happy Little Trees
I wish I could paint. I wish . . . I had some sort of talent. I wonder—if I had an afro—if people would sit through a half an hour show of me showing them how to eat candy? I’d have to speak calmly . . . I don’t want to scare my audience away. I’d have to talk about the “happy little M&Ms” or . . . whatever. Yeah, this could work.
Does he use his hair as a model for the happy little bushes he paints?
